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“You and I” or “You and Me”?

Neha Karve

Updated December 20, 2022

Summary

In formal writing, use “you and I” as the subject (you and I need an answer) and “you and me” as the object of a verb or a preposition (they have invited you and me to the party; these are for you and me; let’s keep this between you and me).

The general rule

Pronouns like I, she, he, and they are subject pronouns, while pronouns like me, her, him, and them are object pronouns. Thus, “you and I” appears as the subject and “you and me” as the object of a verb or a preposition in a sentence.

Actual usage differs between formal and informal styles. Also, while we specifically discuss “you and I” and “you and me” in this article, the discussion applies not just to “you,” “I,” and “me” but to all subject and object pronouns (he, she, we, they and him, her, us, them).

As subject

The pronoun “I” is used instead of “me” as the subject in a sentence. Use “you and I” instead of “you and me” in the subject position. (The subject is the performer of an action, or whom or what the sentence is about.)

As subject in informal usage

In informal communication, particularly in speech, the phrase “you and me” instead of the grammatically correct “you and I” is often used as the subject in a sentence. While this is acceptable in informal usage, stick to using “you and I” in the position of subject in formal styles.

As subject of a clause

Use “you and I” as the subject of a clause, even when the clause itself is the object of a verb.

As object of a verb

Use “you and me” rather than “you and I” as the object of a verb (where you would use “me” instead of “I”).

In sentences where a gerund clause is the object, use “you and me,” not “you and I.”

As object of a preposition

Use “you and me” instead of “you and I” as the object or complement of a preposition (words like between, for, by, with, about).

Hypercorrect “you and I”

The use of “you and I” in the position of object is becoming increasingly common as a result of hypercorrection. (Hypercorrection is a grammatical error that occurs from an attempt at being grammatically correct.) Having heard that “you and I” is correct (which it is as the subject), people mistakenly use it in the object position as well. Avoid such usage, particularly in formal writing, where you should stick to using “you and me” as the object of a verb or a preposition.

After the be verb

After forms of the be verb (like is and are), “you and me” is preferred over “you and I” in all but the most formal usage. This is because object pronouns like “me” are generally used instead of subject pronouns like “I” after the be verb.

Similarly, in the position of subject complement (which provides information about the subject), “you and me” is generally acceptable, with the strictly correct “you and I” used only very formally.

In comparisons

After as and than in comparisons, both “you and I” and “you and me” are grammatically correct. “You and me” is seen more often in everyday usage, while “you and I” is preferred in formal contexts.

How to get it right: A trick

A simple way to check whether to use “you and I” or “you and me” in a sentence is to try using “we” and “us” instead. If “we” works, use “you and I.” If “us” works, use “you and me.”

Examples from literature

Here are some examples from writing that show “you and I” used as the subject in a sentence.

In the following sentences, “you and me” is correctly used as the object of a preposition.

And this example illustrates how “you and me” rather than the strictly correct “you and I” sounds more natural as the subject complement.

She/her, he/him, they/them

Like I and me, other personal pronouns function either as the subject or as the object in a sentence. He, she, and they are subject pronouns; him, her, and them are object pronouns.

Remember to look at the pronoun by itself to judge whether to use he/she/they or him/her/them.